Close to Home
by Phoenixian
Summary: After a mysterious incident James struggles to piece together what happened, while Lily is forced to face what it means to be a muggleborn fighting for her very survival in the midst of war. As they fight to undo the damage, other forces and events will continue to test them and they will have to decide just how much they are willing to lose.
1. Chapter 1

Waking up in a strange place with no recollection of how you got there or what happened is certainly just as confusing and frightening as you might imagine, and it was no different for James Potter as he opened his eyes to the daylight with pain in his chest and and a dullness in his brain that made him feel sluggish and weak, like a cloud over his mind, not helped by that fact that his glasses had been removed. His vision was fuzzy, going in and out of focus.

The room he found himself in was white and unnaturally clean, from the window through which sun blinded him to the sheets that he had kicked to the end of the bed and the strange cloth pants that he did not remember putting on. It smelled clean too, like lemons, the same scent that reminded him strongly of the hospital wing at Hogwarts, suggesting he was at St Mungos, and the theory was supported by the fact that he was bare from the waist up, a thick bandage wrapped around his chest. He could make out other scratches and bruises on his arms and torso despite his poor vision.

James took a deep breath, feeling the ache in his ribs, and made to reach up to brush his hair from his eyes and shield them from the light that shone through at him, but his hand was stopped short, restrained by some sort of cuff that held his arms firmly to each side of the bed. He stared down at them in surprise, then turned to see if he could find his wand or in the very least his glasses.

Instead he caught sight of a blurry version of Sirius slumped in the armchair next to his bed, eyes closed, gentle breathing indicating that he was asleep. James fought to remember what might have happened but the last thing he could picture was eating dinner with Lily and the other marauders at headquarters after the meeting, however he had no idea when that had been or for how many days he had been lying in bed unconscious, for hunger had begun to gnaw at his stomach with the thought of food, and his head itched as though he hadn't showered in days.

He pulled at the restraints a few times knowing full well that they weren't about to give. He didn't even try to speculate on why he was bound as his mind was still fuzzy and he had the distinct impression that he would be happier not knowing what had happened. He watched his friend sleep for a few brief moments but his need was greater. He had to know where Lily and the others were and why his wand was nowhere to be seen and he himself had been tied down. He tried to pull himself into a sitting position but couldn't manage it comfortably, finally giving in and lying back against the thick pillows.

"Padfoot!"

His friends eyes snapped open instantly as though he had been waiting to be called. Sirius stood and came to stand over him, and James detected a certain wariness in his expression.

"James."

"What the hell is going on here?"

He indicated the cuffs and Sirius glanced down at them, clearly perfectly aware of their existence.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius finally asked rather cautiously. Annoyed, James shook his head. "I'm fine. Where's Lily?"

Sirius glanced away uncomfortably, and something knotted itself deep in James' gut.

"Did something happen to her? Is she hurt? Sirius, I can't remember anything. You have to get me out of these damn things."

Sirius looked at the door and James wondered whether he was expecting, or maybe hoping for someone to come in. It was the first time since the day they had met that his best friend didn't seem to know what to say and it was making him panic.

"Tell me what happened Padfoot" James demanded furiously. "Where is Lily?"

Sirius rubbed his face and sat back down in the chair, drawing closer to the bed.

"You don't remember anything?" he asked finally, his tone and face unreadable. James shook his head desperately.

"Prongs" Sirius started. He paused, took a deep breath and scratched his head, thinking. "We don't know exactly what happened either actually." He held up a hand as James opened his mouth to question him.

"What were pretty sure happened is that you were cursed." Again, he stopped James from interrupting. "Not the imperius or anything like that. We don't actually know what it was, even the healers and Dumbledore couldn't be sure, I mean they think that it was a curse that ended up going wrong somehow. But listen James, you woke up once before this, last night, and Lily was here, but it really didn't go well, so Remus and Peter took her back to headquarters, we all thought it would be better if..."

"So she's alright then?" James cut him off frantically. Again, Sirius looked away uncomfortably but he nodded.

"And the others."

"Fine, everyones fine. Oh, I forgot." Sirius reached to the floor and came up with James' glasses. He reached for them but of course his hand was yanked back.

"Get me out of these won't you?" he asked in frustration.

"I'm not sure I should."

James couldn't help but smile. "Since when do you care about what you should and shouldn't do?" But Sirius did not smile in return.

"Come on Padfoot, just give me one of my hands then, let me put my glasses on" he said, annoyed that he was sitting there so helplessly and that his best friend intended to leave him that way.

"You're certain that you're feeling alright?" Sirius asked uncertainly.

"Just fine. It only hurts when I breath."

Again Sirius didn't smile, but he nodded, pulled his wand from his pocket and tapped the strap around James' wrist. It fell away instantly and he was finally able to put on his glasses and see things clearly, including the very concerned look on his friends face.

Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door and James noticed that Sirius looked relieved as it opened. Remus appeared, looking surprised to see him awake but he crossed instantly to the bed, staring down at James curiously, eyebrows narrowed.

"James?" he said, as though it might be someone else lying in front of him.

"Yes, it's me, were you expecting someone else?" He was getting extremely frustrated not knowing what was going on and he was being treated like he was about to explode.

"Well last time you woke up you still weren't yourself you know." Remus replied calmly as though what he said was supposed to make sense.

"What are you talking about? Will someone please explain to me what happened? Where is Lily?" he demanded.

Remus frowned. "She's down the hall with Peter just now. We didn't think it was a good idea for her to come in here again."

"What's that supposed to mean, anyway?" James asked. Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance that did not make him feel any better. "You said I was cursed" he said, turning back to Sirius. "So what did I do? Tell me what happened."

Sirius rubbed his face again and James wondered how long his friend had been sitting at his bedside.

It was Remus who finally spoke.

"James, we don't know exactly what happened."

"Ya, Sirius told me" he said in frustration. "Just give it a guess then."

"All we really know is what Lily told us and what Sirius saw when he got there."

"Good enough for me."

"James, we think you must have been cursed, and it happened sometime between when you left us and when you got back to headquarters, which means you had to have stopped somewhere else first. Do you know where that might have been?"

"No. Moony, I don't remember anything. How long have I been here?"

"Three days now. You woke up yesterday but it didn't last long. Mad Eye and Dumbledore will want to talk to you now that you're awake I expect."

"But I did something that made you decide that Lily should stay away from me?" he asked, ignoring the last part. The gut feeling was digging itself deeper inside of him. He swallowed hard.

"How about you start from the beginning because the last thing I remember is dinner on Saturday."

"Oh." They exchanged further meaningful glances. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, feeling the severity of the situation.

"James, three days ago you and Frank and Alice were checking out this house that Mad Eye thought might be under use by the death eaters. You were watching it, keeping track of the people who came in and out, normal stuff. Do you remember that?" Sirius said. James shook his head.

"We were taking it in shifts" Remus said. "You guys had been there for nearly eight hours. It was early afternoon when Peter, Caradoc and I showed up to replace you. Alice and Frank left for home. You stuck around for a bit to catch us up and talk and then you left too. I assumed you were headed right back to headquarters to get some sleep. You said Lily was going to meet you there." He paused.

"So what happened?" James urged him.

"Well eventually you did get back to headquarters, but apparently it was a lot later than it would have been had you gone straight there. It was the middle of the day, so no one else was around except for you and Lily, everyone was either at home or out on assignment." Remus shoved his hands in his pockets.

"So?" James said.

"We're not sure exactly what happened next."

"Not sure of much, are you?"

Remus ignored him. "Lily said that she was in your bedroom and she heard you come in. She waited for awhile because she assumed you were going to come up as you hadn't slept in days." Remus was clearly drawing the story out. James nodded impatiently for him to continue.

"When you didn't come up she thought it might have been somebody else or that maybe you didn't know she was there...it doesn't matter really, she went downstairs to look for you, and she found you just standing in the front drawing room as if you had just come in, staring at the wall. She started talking to you but you wouldn't answer her so she grabbed your arm." He stopped completely and looked to Sirius. James did the same. He thought he was going to be sick and he didn't even know why. Sirius wasn't looking at him, avoiding his gaze but he continued the story where Remus had left off, looking from his hands to the wall to the pristine white bedspread.

"You attacked her Prongs. You were cursed, and you attacked her. Not with your wand though. Just the minute she touched you you went right for her."


	2. Chapter 2

"What?" He managed to choke out in shock as a wave of nausea rolled over him. Sirius squared his shoulders and continued. "You caught her off guard... obviously. She didn't have her wand, left it upstairs I guess otherwise she could have just stunned you. She couldn't fight you, not that she didn't do her best to defend herself, and a good job too" Sirius added, indicating James' bandaged chest and various bruises which instantly took on a whole new meaning to him. He had attacked her, Lily. He had hurt her and now she was being kept away from him.

"Don't know what might have happened if Gideon and I hadn't showed up just then honestly. Pulled you away from her kicking and screaming like some kind of animal, clearly didn't know any of us, but you obviously wanted her dead, that much was clear. We had to stun you in the end."

James was in shock. He had never been so confused or afraid in his life, not when he was getting attacked by death eaters, not ever. He forced himself not to throw up all over the clean floor.

"And Lily?"

"She got checked out here at the hospital" Remus assured him quickly. "She's badly shaken of course and has a few injuries, but she's not in a hospital bed or anything. The healer said she'll recover quickly. She's just worried about you now."

James nodded slowly, still trying to make sense of what he had been told and how it could have happened.

"You said that I woke up" he remembered suddenly. "You said she was here, and that I woke up."

They exchanged another glance.

"You woke up last night. The healers had already discovered you were cursed, dark stuff if you didn't figure that one out on your own" Remus told him. "They were trying different potions and spells and things, not sure what had been done to you exactly, they'd never seen anything like it. We were all here, we weren't sure what might happen, if you were going to wake up at all."

"But I did."

Sirius nodded. "We thought you were fine at first. You were talking, asking what happened...and then you saw Lily."

"No..." James groaned.

"You were obviously still cursed. You totally flipped our trying to get at her, she had to leave the room and it took the rest of us to hold you down. That's when Frank added the straps. You were really agitated, muttering about mudbloods, that kind of thing, but eventually you calmed down and then the healers gave you some more potion and you passed out again."

"But why her? It doesn't make any sense."

"Doesn't it though?" Sirius asked solemnly. "You were most likely cursed by a death eater and then you attacked the first muggle born you saw and you wanted them all dead. Think about it, everyone knows who you are James, and everyone knows who Lily is. Voldemort wants you both dead, so it becomes simple enough to figure out a way to make you think like a death eater, and have you kill her, and if you attack a bunch of other muggles while you're at it it's just a bonus for him." Sirius shrugged. "Don't worry, you didn't though" he added, noticing the look on James' face. "We'll figure it out mate."

" I want to see Lily. I need to see her."

Remus looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, then nodded. "I'll go talk to her" he said, then turned and left the room.

"How bad is it Padfoot?" he asked as the door swung shut. He stared at it, willing Lily to walk through it, to be alright, to hold onto him, because he felt as though he was about to fall apart, body and mind aching with the pain and weakness brought on by whatever it was that had happened to him.

"You can get through this, mate" Sirius said in a low voice, "You always make it somehow, it'll be fine." The sympathy was clear in his voice, but it certainly didn't help.

"And Lily? I attacked her, Sirius!" he choked. There was no way for him to put his despair into words. For years Lily's safety had been his greatest concern, and even when she hated him for it he had always put her security first, had done anything and everything in his power to protect her, only for it to come down to this.

What he couldn't put into words seemed to have come out in his expression. Sirius, who's parents had never once hugged him in his entire life and who had practically been raised by a house elf and therefore had never been particularly affectionate with anyone who wasn't an attractive and preferably available female offered him an awkward pat on the shoulder before leaning back in his chair.

"Lily loves you Prongs, don't ask me why" he said, forcing a small smile that James did his best to return. "She's not going anywhere. She's here now, isn't she?" he asked, glancing at the door as the sound of Remus returning with another person became audible.


	3. Chapter 3

He had seen her bruised and beaten. He had watched her writhe in pain, had helplessly listened to her scream, had held her as more blood than he thought a body could hold flowed from her wounds. On more than one occasion he had been certain that he was going to lose her, twice he had been told she was dead, and he had spent a total of fourteen days over the past two years sitting by her hospital bed hoping she would wake up, and yet at that moment, as Lily stood framed in the doorway of his own hospital room his feelings were unparalleled by anything she had ever made him feel before. A cold fury was twisting itself in his gut, and yet it wasn't the usual anger that someone had hurt her, or that he had not been able to protect her. At that moment he hated himself more than he had ever hated anyone, felt the worst pain he had ever experienced and found that he was hardly able to breathe, because it hadn't been some nameless masked death eater who had done these things to her, nor had it been Voldemort himself, or simply another hater of muggleborns. James had done it himself, and he couldn't look away from the damage he had inflicted on her. Every scratch and mark was thanks to him, from her swollen eye and split lip to the bruise that spread down her jaw and around her throat in the shape of a hand, his hand, disappearing beneath the collar of her jumper.

Lily had never been one to show her fear, or to give away what she was feeling, yet he could sense her trepidation as she moved into the room towards him, every step making her injuries more obvious to him, revealing new ones. She moved awkwardly, making him wonder what else was hidden beneath her carefully selected clothing, and he couldn't bring himself to speak. The tension in the room couldn't be heavier as Sirius and Remus moved in closer as she did, but James could only be grateful, for he didn't know how any of this had happened or whether he might still be cursed, and Lily had already been through enough.

No one spoke. He stared at Lily, and she stared at him, and their friends glanced between them, searching him for some hint of hostility. When he made no move to attack her however, they all seemed to breathe easier and Lily reached out her hand to take his.

It wasn't until her warm fingers curled around his own that he felt the slightest pinch of aggression, like an aftershock of the curse, but of course he didn't let it show, for his hurt over what he had done was so much stronger of a feeling.

"James." Just his name, nothing more. Her emerald eyes stared down at him anxiously as she sunk onto the bed beside him. It seemed to sting him, the way she said it, the way her eyes shone with tears, bringing a strange dampness to his own eyes. He wished that his friends would look away but they were both staring at him as though they might miss something were they to blink.

"Lily." It felt so good to say it, to have her there, to feel her, and as he said her name she inhaled sharply and threw her arms around his neck. Pain like knives shot through his chest, but he ignored them, burying his face in her thick hair, breathing her in, clinging to her, wondering what he might be feeling now had Sirius not arrived at headquarters in time to save her.

"I know" she said in his ear, "It's alright, we'll get past this, were fine" and he realized then that he was also talking, telling her he was sorry over and over, telling her that he loved her.

"It's not your fault."

Strangely enough it felt very much his fault as order members filtered in and out of his room for the rest of the day, some of them, like Moody, there only to question him and Lily, pushing him when he didn't remember and driving everyone as mad as he was. Frank and Alice made an appearance as night began to fall on the pretense of simply visiting, which only meant that Alice would hiss at her husband in annoyance every time he tried to bring up what had happened, giving James a headache and making him miss Moody. Hagrid showed up, only to promptly fall asleep against the back, yet it was strangely comforting to have him there, even as they were forced to raise their voices to be heard over his grunting snores as others came through, Gideon and Fabian to cheer everyone up considerably, Caradoc and Dorcas and all the others, each of them treating him as something between an invalid and a time bomb, offering sympathetic looks and interesting theories. It wasn't until Dumbledore and McGonagall appeared to inform them that they hadn't made any headway in the investigation that the half giant was finally roused by Lily's raised voice as she demanded how it was possible that something of the sort could have happened without anyone being able to figure out why, or how or who. No one bothered to point out that anything was possible when it came to Voldemort, for they all knew it and so did she, and saying it aloud wouldn't make anyone feel any better.

He hardly let Lily out of his sight the entire day. Even when she went for a cup of tea with Peter he spent the whole twenty minutes fretting that she wouldn't come back, though of course she always did, and he pretended not to notice that she would flinch when he made sudden movements or touched her without warning. He had no idea how they would ever be able to come back from what had happened. He had no idea how he would be able to fix it, only that he had too, that he couldn't let the death eaters win this round.

* * *

><p>Will get more exciting soon, just wrapping up the whole intro hospital stay thing. Plenty of mayhem and mystery to come so keep reading. Plz review, it only takes a second. Thanks.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Darkness in the hallway and the rooms beyond. Noises echoed from the floors below but he could hardly make anything out in either direction from where he stood at the top of the stairs, eyes adjusting to the dim light. He was breathing in and out with difficulty, a tightness in his chest making it all the more difficult to concentrate. He crossed to the farthest door silently, stepping over the boards that he knew would give him away with a creak. It opened at his touch, offering the room beyond, and he tried to force himself to enter but he was afraid.

"Prongs?"

The door behind him had opened without his having noticed, and he jumped at Sirius' concerned voice. He spun guiltily to face the narrowed eyes and the uncertainty in his friends expression.

"How's it going?" Sirius asked him, entering the hall himself, still fully dressed despite the late hour, and looking fully awake. James couldn't decide if his friend had been waiting up for him or if he was just being his usual self and keeping his own hours. James had put off coming upstairs as late as possible, but now here he was, with his friend beside him, his girlfriend asleep in the room in front of him and he realized how ridiculous it was that he was standing there, so terribly afraid, of himself, of what she might trigger when they were alone in the dark. It sounded like the beginning of a bad romance novel.

He didn't bother to share his thoughts. "Fine" he replied sullenly, turning back to look into his own room. It seemed so much more threatening than it had just days before, before everything. He could just make her out tucked in on her usual side of the bed, curled up, shoulders rising and falling softly, hair flowing uncontrolled over her pillow and his, and all he could feel was the fear, at laying beside her, having her next to him, losing control again.

"She won't bite you know" Sirius joked, joining him and looking in to see what he was looking at.

"No, but I'm afraid I might." Of all the things he had ever feared when it came to Lily, all the threats that he had wanted to protect her from, he had never considered himself to be one of them, but for all he knew...

Sirius shook his head. "You've been cleared, by the healer at the hospital, by Madam Pomfrey, by Dumbledore and Moody and everyone else, you couldn't get more normal, health wise I mean, obviously. Not to mention that you've spent the last several days with Lily, awake and asleep, and it's like you've been more afraid of her than she has been of you. You keep this up long and you'll end up hurting her more than the curse did."

James glanced sideways with an eyebrow raised and Sirius shrugged in embarrassment. "It isn't just Moony who's good with advice" he muttered.

"Do you think she wants me in there?" James asked hopefully, wanting a real answer, wondering what it had meant when she had kissed him goodnight and come up without a final word on where they stood, or what she wanted. All he wanted himself was for everything to go back to what it had been, but they had passed the point of no return the moment he had been cursed, whether or not she had been the original target and there was no going back, not when the look on every face was sympathy or mistrust, when the bruises on Lily's jaw had yet to disappear.

SIrius gave a small smile. "Sometimes I really think you underestimate her. You ask me you're the only one who's still obsessing over this whole curse business-" he caught sight of James' face and held up a pacifying hand. "Not that you don't have a right to be, it's just that... what I'm saying is I think Lily just wants to put it behind her, and you're the one who's not letting her. We'll figure out what happened, but until then you need to make it up to her, and that starts with walking in there right now and going to sleep." He paused. "I sound rather mature right now, don't I? I guess I grew up some while I wasn't looking."

James couldn't help but chuckle. He blinked and something flashed in his mind as he did so, like a shot of clarity, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared, leaving him grinding his teeth. For the briefest of moments he had remembered something, something had been sparked and he closed his eyes again, but there was only the backside of his eyelids, and nothing more.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, drawing him back to the present.

"Ya, just tired" he lied. The last thing he needed now was to be pressed once more. As he closed the door behind him a few moments later he felt better for the first time since he had woken up in the hospital, for he knew he could bring back the memories, no matter what that might mean, good or bad, he could bring back what happened and find the person who had done this to him and Lily.

He was standing on a crowded street, glancing up and down before reaching out to open the door in front of him... he was calling to someone across a dimly lit room... for some reason he felt more cheerful than he had been in sometime. Anticipation hovered. He was so pleased, so looking forward to... Blurry faces smiled at him, voices mingled. He moved past buildings, looked in the windows, some boarded up or covered in posters from which angry witches and wizards smirked at him, but he was in a hurry, he had somewhere important to be, he was distracted by something...

There was another door in front of him, and he was hurrying again, but for a different reason, something that excited him, but still it was not the same... he felt her skin brush his and he remembered what it was that he needed to do, what it was that he wanted to do. To put his hands around her neck, to feel her skin give way, to tear her apart, watch as the light left her eyes, those eyes that were so haunting that they couldn't possibly be allowed to go on, and though part of him wondered why, how he could be doing this he couldn't seem to fight it, and when he gave in it felt so much better than when he was fighting it for he could feel her heart beating beneath his finger tips until he released her and she slammed into the wall. He could see the fear, taste it, taste the power as he curled his fingers in her hair and yanked her head back sharply as she screamed something at him, something so familiar, and he wanted to stop, to find out what James meant, but mostly he just wanted to end it, to shut her up like he was supposed to... there was blood, he could smell it, and her eyes were closed which disappointed him... Someone was screaming, yelling at him to stop, and he wanted to tell them that it was too late, and she was saying it again, his name, over and over.

"James! James! Stop it!" He was killing her, and a part of him was overjoyed, but somewhere else, deep down he was feeling a pain and a loss so great that it was beginning to overcome the rest.

"Wake up!"

Something hit him in the face at the same moment that his eyes came open, knocking him back into the pillow, and she was there, emerald eyes bright with concern and anguish, but also so alive, and he could only look back at her as she stilled, kneeling beside him, her hair tickling his bare chest and shoulders. He reached out for her, stunned, and realized that he was trembling.

The door slammed open, hitting the wall and rebounding at the newest arrival. Sirius pushed it aside. Half dressed and clearly even less awake he stood with wand in hand, staring at them as though he had never seen them before.

"I thought I heard-"

"Were fine" Lily assured him gently, and her voice seemed to calm both men. Sirius nodded, retreating in embarrassment immediately, only pausing to offer James a wink that might have made him roll his eyes on any other occasion.

"James?"

He struggled to sit up, still feeling the ache in his chest from his wounds, his heartbeat unnaturally quick, but just the warmth of her hands on his arm was enough to steady him.

"I remember" he managed to choke out, avoiding eye contact, running his hand through his already wired hair.

"You remember what happened?" she asked in shock, nails digging into his arm. He decided it was the least he could do not to mention the marks they would leave.

"No" he said, "Just the worse part."

She didn't know what to say to this and it was her turn to look away, surely recalling her own memories. But then she touched his cheek and curled her fingers through his.

It was just a bad dream" she told him, her voice uncertain as though she were trying to convince herself as much as him, and as he pulled her close and watched her drift back to sleep he wished more than anything that it wasn't a lie.


	5. Chapter 5

Bars were the only places that were ever full anymore. Not that they were in any way cheerful, or even safe, but they were the only place where you could forget for five minutes that everyone you loved was either dead or missing, and that the rest of the world was slowly spiraling down into an unrecognizable hell. Not that there was any kind of peace at the bottom of a bottle, but there were many who would never stop looking for it.

James trailed into the leaky cauldron after his friends, seeking out the only empty table in the dim, smoky room. It was sticky with liquor and the tabletop was violently scorched and still warm, making him wonder if they hadn't just missed a fight.

They settled themselves uneasily, sparing glances for every other person there. You could never be too careful, and Moody's paranoid delusions had been drilled into them, coupled with James' own incident. The place was half full of drunks who had already fallen asleep on arms and tables, dregs of their drinks spilling out over the tables and bar, while others remained shrouded in dark cloaks, nursing bottles and large mugs.

Tom called to them almost cheerfully from the bar and they waved back, doing their best not to draw attention to themselves. They weren't looking for any more trouble after a full day of it, and being who they were seemed to promise it wherever they went.

"Usual?" Tom asked, dropping four firewhiskeys in front of them a few minutes later without waiting for consent. James threw most of his back instantly, welcoming the familiar burn.

"Thanks Tom."

The older man nodded. "On the house tonight Potter. Either as congratulations or condolences. What'll it be?"

James considered this for a moment, then looked up at the bartender in confusion.

"What are you talking about Tom?" Sirius asked before he could say the words himself. Tom frowned, puzzled, but no more so then they were.

"When Potter was here last week-"

"What?" they all demanded at once, as he racked his brain, but there was no conscious memory in place. "When was I here?"

Tom's expression had changed to one of suspicion. "Are you sure…?"

"When, Tom?" Remus demanded seriously, cutting him off. The bartender scratched his head.

"Would have been Tuesday I suppose. Someone tried to set fire to the place later that same day. Real mess-"

"What was I doing? How did I seem?" James asked frantically, nearly on his feet in excitement. No one had considered that what had happened could have taken place in public, somewhere familiar, with witnesses. Was it possible that he had simply been in the bar that morning? And why would he have gone there when Lily had been waiting for him?

"You were real excited" Tom said slowly, eyeing him. "Going on about that ring…" he said.

"Ring?" Peter asked. "What ring?"

Tom shrugged. "I didn't see it. We only talked for a mo' as you headed through to the alley. Didn't see you head back out again. You were happier than I've seen anyone in some time. Talking about the ring, and your girl. I thought…well, it doesn't matter, but it was pretty clear… You don't remember any of this?"

James shook his head wildly, fighting to remember, to put the new pieces into place with the old, connect all the dots in his scrambled mind.

"Hold up" Sirius said, seeming to catch on at the same moment that the thought popped into his own head. "Not your mother's ring? You don't think? No way" Sirius said, "You'd just gotten off duty, you wouldn't have been thinking about… you would have said. You would have remembered, wouldn't you?"

"The ring" James said slowly. He had been so excited that day, something built up inside, a kind of excitement and nervousness that he couldn't remember having felt before. He had thought it had just been a memory of the effect of the curse. But what if..?

"What ring?" Peter repeated.

"You don't think?" he said, looking between his friends, and even at Tom, who was as lost as Peter.

"Why not?" Remus offered lightly. "You don't remember anything for three days before you were cursed." He shrugged. "Makes sense to me" he said.

"No way" Sirius said again, this time in wonder.

"Don't see why not" Tom decided to add. "Everyone seems to be jumping in young these days, probably cause no one's around long enough to get old."

Peter seemed to catch on then with a surprised "Oh" before falling silent once again.

Remus was smiling. Sirius' mouth was hanging open. "Where is it?" he asked.

888

Even in the evening light the white building seemed to gleam, towering over the stores on the street, many of them boarded up, ransacked or simply empty. The bank alone stood firmly and peacefully above them as they took the steps two at a time and skidded through the heavy doors, nearly colliding with the goblin that waited to greet them, giving them a dirty look as they nearly knocked him off his feet.

Something triggered in his mind, and a major sense of deja vu settled over him. Not that it couldn't have been a recollection of any number of visits to the bank, but he took the feeling as a good sigh nonetheless.

"Mr. Potter" the goblin was saying in a high but gravelly voice. "We didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"I was here last week?" he asked.

The goblin's eyes narrowed. "I assume you are able to present your key and your wand for identification" he asked in a politely suspicious voice.

James dug both from the folds of his robes and presented them to the goblin who proceeded to round a desk and began to weigh and measure the wand. Finally he handed it back with a grunt of satisfaction.

"What can we do for you Mr. Potter?" the goblin then asked, rather grudgingly it seemed.

"I was here last week?" he repeated his question hurriedly as Sirius nudged him enthusiastically.

"You were" the goblin confirmed, eyeing his friends.

"Did I take anything from my vault?" he demanded impatiently.

"You did."

"What was it?" he urged impatiently.

"I would have to check the records." He sighed. "One moment please."

All four of them watched carefully as he drew a heavy log book made of yellowed parchment from under his desk and began to slowly and meticulously scan through lists of thin, spidery writing in acid green ink. He turned each page as though it weighed more than he did, and it was all James could do not to tear the book from his tiny hands. The only lead they had had since the attack, put on hold by an annoyed goblin.

"Aah" the creature muttered finally, thin finger landing on a line of the writing. "I see."

"You see what?" Sirius demanded. "What does it say?"

The goblin shot him an irritated look, then turned his gaze back to James.

"What did I take from my vault?" he asked once again.

"A priceless antique ring" the goblin recited without looking down at his book. "Goblin made. The Potter crest engraved on the inside, priceless emerald stones set into the band."

"No shit!" Sirius said. The goblin spared him another withering glance.

James realized that his mouth was hanging open and forced himself to shut it. His mother's ring. The Potter ring, passed down from one generation to the next, going back nearly as far as the cloak . Was it possible? And what had happened to it?

"Am I to understand that you have lost the ring?" the goblin asked coldly, with a look on his face that suggested that this was an unforgiveable crime.

"No" James said, shaking his head vigorously. "I just don't remember where I put it."


End file.
